Kung Pao Chicken Tacos and "Bad Words"

MADNESS I TELL YOU!  Or as some like to call it: "Asian Fusion", whatever that means.  Basically it's "I was to lazy to wash a fork, so I put it in a tortilla".  Not myself per say, but you get the idea.  The tortilla is the tried and true edible serving utensil.  I don't mean to bore you if you just want to get to the goods, but this story has stuck with me since first hearing it growing up in Santa Fe, New Mexico (¡Que Viva Nuevo Mexico!).  So, give it a read, or jump to the food.  You won't hurt my feelings.

"A Spoon for Every Bite" by Joe Hayes
The landscapes and lore of the desert are captured in this traditional Hispanic fable about a boastful rich man who is outsmarted by his poor neighbors. The poor couple, whose shack looks out on the mansion of the wealthy man and who own but two spoons, ask him to be the compadre, or godfather, to their child. He agrees; they save every penny to buy a third spoon so they can invite him to dinner. The compadre comes to their home and laughs at their poverty, boasting that he could use a different spoon every day of the year. They mention a man they know who uses a different spoon for every bite. Intent on proving his superior wealth, the compadre bankrupts himself trying to outdo this legendary man, whose ``spoons'' are the tortillas with which he eats his beans.

Any way, let's get cooking, good lookin!

 

Kung Pao Chicken Tacos

Serves 2 to 3, depending on weather you snacked before😁

A quick note:  make the masa for the tortillas, if making your own, first.  It's good to make the dough and give it a siesta for around 30 minutes to an hour.  It doesn't need to rise like bread dough, just helps it "relax" for lack of better term.

The goods

-10 oz. Ground chicken or turkey

-3 Tbsp. peanuts

-3 cloves garlic (minced)

-1 red bell pepper

-1 stalk of celery

-2 green onions

-1 small bunch cilantro

-3 Tbsp. soy sauce

-1 Tbsp. Sriracha 

-2 Tbsp. corn starch

-2 Tbsp. rice wine vinegar

-2 Tbsp. sesame oil (used toasted Japanese sesame oil from Drizzle (drizzletastingroom.com))

-1/2 cup chateau pitcher (water)

-Corn tortillas, or if you are a bad ass, make your own (recipe follows)

The rundown

-It's always best to get all you stuff prepped and ready to roll.  This is setting up your mise en place.  Chop your red bell pepper into bite size and manageable pieces, mince the garlic, chop the white part of the green onions into pieces and mince the green tops for serving garnish.  Chop the celery, mince the cilantro, and baby we are off to the races!

-Heat a pan over medium high heat and toast the peanuts to bring out all those delicious natural oils.  Try not to burn them😉.  Once peanuts are done, remove them and set aside.

-Place the ground chicken in the same pan and start breaking it apart with a spoon.  I shouldn't have to tell you, but if it's a non-stick pan, for heaven sake make it a plastic or wooden spoon!  I've seen too many tragedies with ruined pans because of metal utensils (OH THE TRAVISTY!). Cook the chicken until no pink remains.

-While the chicken is cooking, mix the soy sauce, oil, water, Sriracha, vinegar, and corn starch in a bowl.

-Add pepper pieces, spring onion to the chicken and cook until they soften.

-when the peppers and onions are looking like they are done fighting the good fight, toss in the garlic.  And for crying out loud, mince your own garlic!  Don't use those goofy little presses that take longer to clean than it would chopping your own.  And don't worry about the garlic smell.  If you have a stainless steel sink, rub your ands along the basin while you are washing them and it removes the garlic scent from your paws.

-Don't cook the garlic too long, maybe eleven seconds.  There's nothing worse than bitter burned garlic.

-Add in that little sauce you made before and reduce heat.  Once it begins to thicken and coat the chicken and veggies, you are in business.

-Now's the time has come to get cracking on those homemade corn tortillas.  Seriously, homemade tortillas are the easiest thing to make and taste worlds better than the store bought junk.  Plus, you know exactly what's going into them, and they are only 3 ingredients!  It's a no wonder I wasn't a fan of them growing up.  I had my first real handmade corn tortilla (grandma only made flour tortillas growing) in old Mexico, or maybe it was the Dominican Republic.  Either way, it was an eye opener.  No joke, it blew my mind.  Plus, it was served with fresh cactus pick de gallo.  Unbeatable.  When I returned home, the first thing I did was scramble out and buy a tortilla press.

Homemade Corn Tortillas

Makes about 10-14 small tortillas

The goods

-2 cups masa Harina (check the "Hispanic" isle at the store (so politically correct are the goods store folks these days))

-Dash of salt

-1 1/4-1/2 cup water (play it by ear)

The rundown

-Mix the masa with the salt.

-Start by adding one cup of water and mix to form a cohesive dough.  It will always be slightly crumbly.

-Add just enough water to make the dough stick together without being overly sticky.

-Once the dough is complete, holding together, and looking good, cover it with plastic wrap or a towl and let it relax about thirty minutes.

-After the dough siesta and everything else is just about ready, heat a cast iron pan, or any pan you have at your disposal.

-make dough balls with the masa roughly the size of golf balls, pop it between two sweets of cling wrap, then use you're hand little tortilla press, a rolling pin, or the flat bottom of another pan to smash and flatten it to what ever size your little heart desires.  Thick like a gordita, or thin like rice paper, it's whatever you like

-Pop each tortilla into the hot, hot, hot griddle for about 20-30 seconds per side, then right onto a plate and cover with a clean towl to help keep them warm, but also remove residual moisture.

Serious as a heart attack, they are tender, pliable, wrap your food nicely, and the taste is worth the effort.  I will, if I can avoid it like the plague, never buy store bought tortillas again.  Hang on to this recipe because they will make killer chips or salad bowls (those will show up letter)

Once your edible paw to maw food transporters are done, tuck in!  Throw the chicken mix on them, doll those little devils up custom with peanuts, cilantro, whatever your taste is.

This meal comes together quick faster than a hurry and really hit the spot since I was hankering for tortillas and wanted something a little different. So, as my favorite "guidet", Mandy, would say: "Mangia!" 

 
After dinner, we kicked back to watch "Bad Words" with Jason Bateman.  Not exactly a movie to expose virgin ears to, but if you are need of some laughs, I highly recommend it.  His witty seriousness in previous films says it all.  This is an "A-hole with a heart of gold" kind of story that will have you in tears with laughter and a god feeling in the end.
 
 

Eat well, live well.

-Chris